Oh today...

So...today I found out my ex is getting married...today...in 15 minutes...haha. Poor woman he is marrying.

I don't know really what I am feeling about it. My main reaction is just "What the Fuck" (please pardon my language...it is just appropriate here). It was 3 months ago that we were all but engaged. Had my ring picked out, my parents had been asked, etc. Now, in saying this, I want to make it clear I am not sad that he is not marrying me...I am happy in fact. I mean, I wasn't allowed to have friends. I was accused of having an affair with some unknown person at the dog park. I wasn't allowed to wear certain things or go certain places. I was constantly told I wasn't good enough and made to feel pretty worthless. I realize how much better off I am now.

I am sad however, for his 3 girls (and her 3 kids also). This is not TVLand and The Brady Bunch simply doesn't exist. You can't blend families and not expect there to be some major issues, especially when one person has so little visitation anyway. Oh, and did I mention he puts work in front of his kids constantly. Oh, what an idiot!!!!!! I wish the girls had someone in their corner. He certainly isn't...leading me to my next point...

The ex wife is getting married too. Yep. Thats really where all of this stems from I think. HE can't stand for her to be with someone and he be alone. While I think she is a better parent than he, I don't know that she has earned any "Mother of the Year" awards either. Again, someone needs to stand up for the girls.

I know none of this has anything to do with me, but I can't help but feel a little betrayed. I mean, seriously? It was a matter of months ago that we were planning the same things. Seriously. He didn't even have the decency to tell me himself. What a fucking coward. He didn't want to tell anyone...everyone in his family thinks he is making a giant mistake...and he is!!!!!!

I feel a little worthless too. Not gonna lie. I am over him. I really am. I am happy with my life right now...in fact...happier than I have been in years, maybe ever. Yes. Ever. I have control over my life and I am making my own decisions. But I am SURE not read to go get married in oh, 10 minutes!!!!!! But, am I THAT easy to get over? Really? That makes me feel like crap. A big load of crap.

I give the marriage 2 years. Sad to say, but I do. Thats about how long it took before I got sick of his BS and I think she will take that long and then have to get the balls to leave him. I think she is seeing dollar signs...can't say that I blame her. He makes good money and $10-$12 an hour doesn't go very far when raising 3 kids. That will make it hard too!

Well, here's to the happy couple! I hope the girls survive and I hope I am wrong about all of this. Its time for a drink! Bottoms up!